HomesPUN Christmas Tale

Attendees

meter@bmerhbfc

Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

Author

Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

Summary

For your information:


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 Nov 29 20:08:00 1995

 To:          Holly (H.A.)  Armstrong            (BNR)      Dept 7X85   SKY
              Colin (C.W.)  Kemp                 (BNR)      Dept 7X85   SKY
              James (J.L.)  Beuerman             (BNR)      Dept 7X85   SKY

 From:        Peter (P.J.)  Frellick             (BNR)      Dept 7X85   SKY

 Subject:     fw:HomesPUN Christmas Tale


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Tue Dec 22 09:58:00 1992

  (All characters, real, imagined or fictional, are strictly products of my
perceptions. Or at least what I perceive to be my perceptions, Or what I
believe to perceive to be .... you get the idea. Any resemblance of my
writing to actual entertainment is strictly coincidental and does imply
any obligation other than that of the reader to seek competent professional
counselling.)


  It seems that during the heat of the Fisher-Spasky/USA-USSR battle for chess
supremacy in the 70's most people overlooked China as a factor. This, of
course, infuriated the People's Republic so they called for a sort of reverse
chess purge. The infamously cruel General Lao-Ting, a nephew of Mao Tse-Tung,
was ordered to collect all of the greatest chess players in the country, and
hold a tournament to determine the grandmaster of China, who would then be
pitted against the Russian and the American to show the supremacy of the East
in all matters. This tournament was quite long owing to China's great size
and population, and after some months went by many of the competitors began to
lose their motivation. Many small uprising were attempted, but Ting managed to
quiet them all. After a while, threats were necessary. Ting told the competitors
that they would be shot if they tried to leave the tournament. This did not
stop the competitors from harboring thoughts of escape. It just made them
more sly in their plotting. They formed a consensus that they would all abandon
the tournament on a day when the West would be watching, Christmas eve. At 
noon of December 24 all of the players stood up in unison and bolted for the
door. Ting ordered the guards to shoot them. However, in what history has termed
the worst display of marksmanship ever, not a single competitor was injured
despite there having been over 2000 rounds of ammunition used. As the
tournament participants had hoped, the western media picked up the story with
the headline "CHESS NUTS ROSE, TING OPENED FIRE"

   A Merry Christmas to All,
    and God bless us, every pun

    Peter