The Cold Snap - HOW COLD IS IT?

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Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

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Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

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---forwarded-message---->


 Feb 15 15:49:00 1996

 To:          Colin (C.W.)  Kemp                 (BNR)      Dept 7X36   SKY

 From:        Colin (C.W.)  Kemp                 (BNR)      Dept 7X36   SKY

 Subject:     [rec.humor.funny] The Cold Snap

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Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: The Cold Snap
Organization: Memory Alpha * Ithaca New York
From: [email protected] (Mark H. Anbinder)
Keywords: topical, chuckle
Approved: [email protected]
Path: bmerhc5e.bnr.ca!bcarh8ab.bnr.ca!bcarh8ac.bnr.ca!bmdhh222.bnr.ca!bnr.co.uk!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!tube.news.pipex.net!pipex!lade.news.pipex.net!pipex!tank.news.pipex.net!pipex!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in1.uu.net!looking!funny-request
Message-ID: 
Date: Mon, 12 Feb 96 12:20:05 EST
Lines: 87


[Sent to me by a friend in the Caribbean! No idea where he got it.]


HOW COLD IS IT?

 An annotated thermometer

  60    - Californians put on sweaters
          (if they can find one in their wardrobe)

  50    - Miami residents turn on the heat

  40    - You can see your breath
          Californians shiver uncontrollably
          Minnesotans go swimming

  35    - Italian cars don't start

  32    - Water freezes

  30    - You plan your vacation to Australia
          Minnesotans put on T-shirts
          Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
          British cars don't start
          Your boogers freeze

  25    - Boston water freezes
          Californians weep pitiably
          Minnesotans eat ice cream
          Canadians go swimming

  20    - You can hear your breath
          Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
          New York City water freezes
          Miami residents plan vacation further South


  15    - French cars don't start
          You plan a vacation in Mexico
          Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

  10    - Too cold to ski
          You need jumper cables to get the car going


   5    - You plan your vacation in Houston
          American cars don't start

   0    - Alaskans put on T-shirts
          Too cold to skate

  -10   - German cars don't start
          Eyes freeze shut when you blink

  -15   - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
          Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
          Miami residents cease to exist

  -20   - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
          Politicians actually do something about the homeless
          Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
          Japanese cars don't start

  -25   - Too cold to think
          You need jumper cables to get the driver going

  -30   - You plan a two week hot bath
          The Mighty Monongahela freezes
          Swedish cars don't start

  -40   - Californians disappear
          Minnesotans button top button
          Canadians put on sweaters
          Your car helps you plan your trip South

  -50   - Congressional hot air freeze
          Alaskans close the bathroom window

  -80   - Hell freezes over
          Polar bears move south

- --
Selected by Jim Griffith.  MAIL your joke to [email protected].
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

Remember: Only ONE joke per submission.  Extra jokes may be rejected.

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