Scientists Discover 2 New Elements

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meter@bmerhbfc

Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

Author

Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR

Summary

For your information:


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 Feb 19 09:07:00 1996

 To:          Colin (C.M.)  Puchala              (BNR)      Dept 6S23   SKY
              Colin (C.W.)  Kemp                 (BNR)      Dept 7X36   SKY
              Michael (M.J.)  Craven             (BNR)      Dept 0S25   SKY
              Jane (J.)  Dowsey                  (BNR)      Dept 7I61   SKY
              Patricia (P.A.)  Dy                (BNR)      Dept 7I61   SKY
              Fred (F.J.)  LaLonde               (BNR)      Dept 4Y26   SKY
              Alan (A.B.)  Williams              (BNR)      Dept X753   SKY
              Cory (C.J.)  Bialowas              (BNR)      Dept 7C13   SKY

 From:        Douglas (D.A.)  Sander             (BNR)      Dept 4Y51   SKY

 Subject:     fw:Scientists Discover 2 New Elements

fyl

Doug


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 Feb 19 09:01:00 1996

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            John  Campbell                 :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
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            James  Phillips                :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
            Ross  Pippin                   :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
            Teri  Roberts                  :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
            Douglas  Sander                :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
            Darcie  Simpson                :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
            Christopher  Van Fleet         :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR
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            Doug  Yuill                    :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR

 From:      Teri  Roberts                  :4Y51    (BNR)      SKY     BNR

 Subject:   fw:Scientists Discover 2 New Elements

fye:


Have you heard that scientist have discovered 2 new elements for 
the
periodic chart?  :)

Element         :  WOMAN 
Symbol          :  Wo 
Atomic Weight   :  120  (more or less) 

     Physical Properties:  Generally round in form. Boils at 
     nothing and may freeze anytime.  Melts whenever treated 
     properly.  Very bitter if not used well. 

     Chemical Properties:  Very active.  Possesses strong 
     affinity to gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 
     Violent when left alone.  Able to absorb great amount of 
     exotic food.  Turns slightly green when placed beside a 
     better specimen.  Ages rapidly. 

     Usage:  Highly ornamental.  An extremely good catalyst for 
     disintegration of wealth.  Probably the most powerful income 
     reducing agent known. 

     Caution:  Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. 

Element         :  MAN 
Symbol          :  XY 
Common Name(s)  :  Varies anywhere from John to !@#$&*! 
Atomic Weight   :  180 +/- 100 

     Physical Properties:  Solid at room temperature but easily 
     gets bent out of shape.  Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. 
     Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples 
     are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh 
     samples. 
     
     Chemical Properties:  Attempt to bond with Wo any chance it 
     can get.  Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. 
     Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for 
     prolonged period of time.  Pretty basic.  Neutralize by 
     saturating with alcohol. 
     
     Usage:  None really, except methane production.  Good 
     samples are able to produce large quantities on command. 
     
     Caution:  In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly 
     decomposes and begins to smell