Worst Analogies
- Attendees
- meter@bmerhbfc
- Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR
- Author
- Colin Kemp 7K76 BNR
- Summary
For your information:
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From: Colin (C.W.) Kemp (BNR) Dept 7K76 SKY
Subject: fw:Worst Analogies (fwd)
Attachment: 1) UNIX File: ORIGINAL.HEADER - 800 bytes
For your enjoyment:
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From: James (J.L.) Beuerman (BNR) Dept 7K76 SKY
Subject: fw:Worst Analogies (fwd)
Attachment: 1) UNIX File: ORIGINAL.HEADER - 800 bytes
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Apr 30 15:11 1996
To: James (J.L.) Beuerman (BNR) Dept 7K76 SKY
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From: '[email protected]' (BNR400)
Subject: Worst Analogies (fwd)
Attached: 1 UNIX File: ORIGINAL.HEADER 800 bytes
-> From [email protected] Mon Apr 29 20:39:49 1996
-> From: HOOKER/L. at CTOR020
-> From: (INTERNET)[email protected] at external
->
-> REALLY AWFUL stuff here.. these kids have to learn to write!
->
-> --------------------------------------------------------
->
-> Worst Analogies (taken from High School papers)
-> -----------------------------------------------
->
-> He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who
-> went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
-> with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
-> schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of
-> those boxes with a pinhole in it. (Joseph Romm, Washington)
->
->
-> She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
-> dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
-> open again. (Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
->
->
-> The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
-> bowling ball wouldn't. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
->
->
-> McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag
-> filled with vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
->
->
-> >From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
-> surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
-> "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
->
->
-> Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. (Chuck Smith,
-> Woodbridge)
->
->
-> Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
-> (Russell Beland, Springfield)
->
->
-> Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
-> T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by
-> mistake (Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)
->
->
-> Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. (Unknown)
->
-> He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)
->
->
-> The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry
-> them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)
->
->
-> Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie
-> this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall
-> Man." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
->
->
-> Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
-> grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left
-> Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19
-> p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
->
->
-> The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a
-> Dr Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)
->
->
-> They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
-> resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)
->
-> John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
-> never met. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
->
->
-> The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
-> metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. (Barbara
-> Fetherolf, Alexandria)
->
-> His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
-> underpants in a dryer without Cling Free (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
->
->
-> The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
->
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From: A Warren Pratten
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Subject: Worst Analogies (fwd)
To: [email protected] (Laura Reid), [email protected] (Peter Scheyen),
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Date: Tue, 30 Apr 1996 10:07:38 -0400 (EDT)
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