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Colin Kemp 7K77 BNR

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Colin Kemp 7K77 BNR

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 Sep 25 11:11:00 1996

 To:          Colin (C.W.)  Kemp                 (BNR)      Dept 7K77   SKY

 From:        Patricia (P.A.)  Dy                (BNR)      Dept 7I61   SKY

 Subject:     FW: Headlines

For your humour file:


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ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

     Include your Children when Baking Cookies

     Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

     Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

     Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

     Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

     Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

     Farmer Bill Dies in House

     Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

     Stud Tires Out

     Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

     Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

     British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

     Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

     Eye Drops off Shelf

     Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

     Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

     Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

     Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

     Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

     Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

     Miners Refuse to Work after Death

     Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

     Stolen Painting Found by Tree

     Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

     Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Line

     Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

     Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

     Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

     War Dims Hope for Peace

     If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

     Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

     Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

     Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

     Deer Kill 17,000

     Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

     Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

     New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

     Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

     Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

     Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

     British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

     Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

     Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

     Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

     New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

     Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

     Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

     Air Head Fired

     Steals Clock, Faces Time

     Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

     Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

     Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

     Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

     Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

     Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training